• sometimes feel like there is a hole inside you that you are trying to fill; or
• focus on what you should do or have to do; or
• long for someone to care for you the way that you care for others; or
• read the “self–improvement” books and articles but nothing seems to change,

THEN, counseling may be your answer so that you can stop just trying harder.

One of my mentors said that “stopping to clean, dress and stitch up your emotional injuries is a key step toward attaining the life you want.” Individual counseling is an invaluable way to get help with this process.

With a good therapist, you feel valued and understood and you can be free to explore the edges of your self and your experiences — to go places that you would not want to go alone. This process with a trusted counselor allows you to feel vulnerable without feeling threatened and allows you to re-evaluate the beliefs and patterns you created about loving and being loved.

In therapy, you can have a safe place where old beginnings (your fears, your pain, your loss) find new endings. When an individual (your counselor) responds to you with caring, compassion and thoughtfulness, by truly listening to you, seeing what you know to be true about yourself but cannot integrate, accept or act on, by not shunning your pain or intensity and by meeting you at that place where you thought that no one could join you, the experience is yours to own forever. Once you have that experience with one person (even a professional that you pay), it becomes possible to have it with another. Healing really begins with the caring, thoughtfulness and respect that you learn for your self in the therapeutic relationship and continues when you discover that what you feel in my office is possible in your life outside my office.

All of us have times when it feels as if we cannot cope.

At these times, nothing we do seems to be right and negative thoughts and fears can overwhelm us. When we feel hopeless or powerless, we may want to run away, just give up, distract ourselves or blame others. We may feel depressed, anxious, helpless, sad and/ or angry.

We can hit these times at any period in our life but especially when life transitions occur. It may be the launching of a child, a job loss or change, going through a divorce or a difficult period in a relationship, the death of a parent or other loved one, a serious illness or even an important birthday.

We may also be unsettled by positive events such as a new career, accomplishing an educational goal, having a baby, or developing a romantic relationship. I know that it is really hard when you do not seem to know yourself anymore or how you used to be does not seem to work as well. It is truly unsettling when the comfortable way no longer works but this can be an opportunity to grow, even though you may be filled with anxiety or depression. As a counselor, I have strategies, tools and skills designed to help you discover your new path and get in touch with what makes you happy.